Overview
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) creates trauma and chaos for those who have close relationships with people who have that disorder
If you have experience of this, you will know how debilitating it can be.
You may not be sure what constitutes NPD, or whether it has been your experience, these questions will help determine if you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist.
While not providing a formal diagnosis, the 50 questions below can very usefully help you reflect on your experience:
About You
Do you
- Have brain fog?
- Question if you are the narcissist in your relationship?
- Feel like you are to blame for the failure of your relationship?
- Socially isolate?
- Mistrust people
- Find yourself drinking or drug taking to numb out or fit into your relationship?
- Think you are going mad?
Are you
- Hyper vigilant?
- Self-abandoning?
- Obsessed with trying to uncover the truth?
- Scared of your partners reaction if you speak your truth?
- Disconnected from friends/joy/habits?
About the other person
Emotional and Behavioural Patterns
- Do they make everything about themselves, even when you’re sharing something important?
- Do they get upset or withdraw when you’re not giving them attention or admiration?
- Do they frequently put you down, criticize, or belittle you (even jokingly)?
- Do they struggle to show genuine empathy for your feelings, pain, or struggles?
- Do they dismiss your emotions as being too “dramatic” or “overreacting”?
- Does your partner frequently make you feel like you’re not good enough, no matter how much you do?
- Do they react negatively when you express your feelings, making you feel guilty or overly sensitive?
- Do they lack empathy for your emotions, struggles, or achievements?
- Do they often twist situations to make you feel at fault, even when you know you’re not?
- Have you noticed they rarely apologize sincerely, or if they do, it feels forced or manipulative?
Control and Manipulation
- Do they often twist situations to make themselves look like the victim?
- Do they guilt-trip you into doing things for them?
- Do they ignore your boundaries and get angry or sulk when you enforce them?
- Do they manipulate conversations so you feel confused or doubt your own memory (gaslighting)?
- Do they play mind games, like giving the silent treatment or withholding affection to control you?
- Does your partner often gaslight you, making you doubt your own reality or memories?
- Do they frequently change the narrative of past events to suit their own perspective?
- Do they try to isolate you from friends, family, or sources of emotional support?
- Do they control aspects of your life, such as your finances, appearance, or personal choices?
- Have you caught them lying, exaggerating, or withholding important information?
Sense of Entitlement
- Do they expect special treatment or believe they are superior to others?
- Do they react angrily when they don’t get what they want immediately?
- Do they refuse to take responsibility for their mistakes and always blame others?
- Do they seem incapable of apologizing sincerely, or do they apologize only to get their way?
- Do they believe rules don’t apply to them but expect you to follow them?
Relationship Dynamics
- Did they seem incredibly charming and loving at first but now treat you coldly?
- Do they use your vulnerabilities against you in arguments?
- Do you feel emotionally drained, anxious, or like you’re walking on eggshells around them to avoid their anger or disapproval?
- Do they make you feel like you’re never good enough, no matter how hard you try?
- Do they quickly turn from affectionate to hostile, sometimes for no clear reason?
- Is your relationship full of extreme highs and lows, rather than a steady, healthy bond?
- Do they give you the “silent treatment” as a form of punishment?
- Have they ever belittled or humiliated you in front of others?
- Do you feel emotionally drained, anxious, or confused most of the time in this relationship?
Attention & Validation
- Do they constantly seek admiration and validation from others?
- Are they extremely charming in public but emotionally distant or cruel in private?
- Do they seem overly competitive, envious, or threatened by your success?
- Do they minimize your accomplishments while exaggerating their own?
If you answered “yes” to more than half, you may be dealing with narcissistic traits in your partner, ex-partner family member, friend or acquaintance.
If you would like support with navigating your situation, or restoring your emotional stability and wellbeing, get in touch through arranging a call below.